The bullying we may have witnessed, or experienced firsthand, on the school playground is being increasingly played out in the workplace. According to a national survey conducted in 2021 by the Workforce Bullying Institute, 30% of the respondents have current or past direct experience with abusive conduct, including bullying, at work.
There are many people bullying at work without even being aware of it. Is it possible that you’ re a target?
Bullying is usually perpetrated by someone in a position of power and authority. In many cases, it’s the boss, though peers and even subordinates have also known to engage in bullying. A bully is an insecure, paranoid, control freak. Their aim is to diminish, belittle and ultimately demolish their “prey” through regular, persistent, and increasingly hostile behavior. Make sure you recognize the signs – knowing them may help save your health and career.
Here are ten signs that you’re being bullied:
1. You and your peers are treated according to inconsistent standards.
Others in your work group are receiving preferential treatment (e.g. flextime, “cherry” projects, travel perks and so on). Meanwhile, you find that most all of your requests along the same lines are denied without plausible explanation.
2. Goals on a project are suddenly changed, and your progress is disregarded.
Say you’ve been given a directive with certain objectives, an ultimate goal and a timeline. You work hard and with focus only to find out, suddenly, that there’s a change in direction on the project. Your progress is not celebrated or applied to the new project, but not even taken into account.
3. Every decision you make is questioned, even the small ones.
In essence, you’re constantly bombarded by excessive micromanaging. You don’t feel like your intuition or choices are being trusted, and you can’t explain why. Your boss and others hover over you much more than usual telling you what to do (and what not to do). You get the sense that you’re wrongly perceived as unreliable, and your decision-making capability is greatly reduced as a result.
4. You’re socially alienated … without a valid explanation.
Suddenly, you’re excluded from meetings you once attended. Reasons may be given, but are not warranted or easy to tether to concrete events or behaviors. Co-workers tend to avoid you and keep interaction to a minimum. You also may find that you’re no longer invited to after hour informal events.
5. You’ve experienced verbal abuse.
You’re subject to negative, abusive language — sworn and shouted at on a consistent basis. That said, verbal abuse can be more subtle than overtly aggressive insults and reprimands. You may find that you’re being joked with in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, which is its own kind of verbal bullying.
6. You often feel ganged up on.
Often, when you make a comment, suggestion or disagree with a point of view, you’re responded to with a pile of responses by others. It doesn’t matter whether you’re right or not — the gang mentality is determined to prove you wrong.
7. Your health is deteriorating.
Mentally, you’re drained and your energy is zapped. You’re sleeping more and find it hard to get out of bed. Being bullied at work can lead to depression, anxiety, panic attacks and mood swings. There are also physical symptoms such as increased blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, sleeping troubles and loss of appetite (or excessive eating). In extreme cases, the effects of bullying can also lead to heart attacks and strokes.
8. You and your work are publicly diminished.
Your excellent work is not acknowledged by your boss and/or they give the credit to others in a public setting such as a meeting or an off-site.
9. Others consistently criticize your work — unfairly.
It seems that in the eyes of your boss, you can’t do anything right. Feedback is always provided in the form of criticism and delivered in a way to make you feel bad about yourself. There’s no effort to provide guidance, mentoring or encouragement.
10. You’re presented with unreasonable obstacles at every turn.
Roadblocks are thrown in front of you to throw you off course and prevent you from successful completion of a project or initiative.
What To Do About It:
Once you realize that you’re a victim of being bullying at work it’s important to know what kind of recourse you have. Here are three possible actions:
Speak to a trusted authority in the organization: A good start may be human resources. They should be able to help you determine if, in fact, you’re being bullied. If it’s determined that a bullying situation exists, they can also provide guidance on how to deal with it. Alternatively, you may feel more comfortable speaking with an ombudsman or Chief Ethics Officer (especially if you’re working in an organization that has a strong ethics culture). It’s important to keep in mind that most bullies will deny their behavior when confronted. It’s also very difficult to prove, unless others are being bullied and or your story can be corroborated.
Know your rights: If you feel that you’re not being heard within your company, you might seek outside counsel. Familiarize yourself with state and federal laws. Many states are in the process of enacting anti-bullying laws. For example, Vermont, is looking to pass the first comprehensive anti-bullying, Healthy Workplace Bill (Vermont Senate bill S 143) which is an act relating to protecting employees from abuse at work.
Find another job: This should be a last resort, but sometimes it’s simply not worth the fight — emotionally and financially. Look for new employment with a company possessing a strong culture of integrity. Such companies often have zero tolerance policies along with multiple ways to report abuse.
In the meantime, be sure to seek outside professional help to deal with the physical and mental fallout from prolonged bullying. Reducing stress and keeping a clear mind will help you think through your options and ultimately make the best possible decision.
