Much of a team’s success lies in the relationship a leader has with direct reports, and how that trust trickles down to their own respective teams. In stressful times, we ask that our leaders handle trying decisions, managing up while also leading their team. But too often, we see these leaders fall prey to unethical habits that spoil the dynamic. Let’s identify these 7 temptations of leaders under fire and talk about how to counteract them:
1 – Ignoring
Absentee leadership is defined as a leader’s absence or inactivity amongst their team. But many organizations don’t confront absentee leaders because they are sometimes deemed the least troublesome. They believe that if a leader is absentee, they’re quiet and not creating waves. Others may be making ‘louder’ trouble, whose negative impact might be public and more cost-inducing.
But this doesn’t make the absentee leader’s lack of interest any less harmful. Being ignored by one’s boss is proven to be more alienating than being treated poorly. While considered a low-priority problem, its strength often grows slowly. They become silent organization killers.
2 – Lying
Everyone knows that lying destroys trust. With the amount of hours we spend together as a team, we must expect that our colleagues and leaders are telling it to us straight. Tthe moment we identify a falsehood, we, as a collective team, learn not to trust a leader’s word from that point forward.
Credibility from our leaders is everything, and once it’s lost, it’s rare to regain it. Knowing a leader is lying makes the team assume the situation is much worse than it might actually be. Furthermore, lying leaders create an acceptance of that behavior that creates a culture where each team member cannot trust one another. One lie perpetuates another. One liar perpetuates another.
3 – Understate
Sometimes when a leader reports up to their own senior leadership, they may understate the gravity of a present problem at hand, or one that might be looming just around the corner. Instead of being upfront and addressing the issue in a timely manner, a poor manager may downplay the situation, or avoid it entirely. Of course, this doesn’t make the problem go away, but may cause it to even grow while it’s being downplayed – not giving senior leadership to address the problem head-on and find a timely solution.
4 – Concealment
Toxic leaders tend to be inconsistent and often backtrack on what they say. But leaders who are transparent are much more appreciated than leaders who conceal information that could easily be communicated. As the saying goes, “If you never lie, you will not have to remember what you said.”
Avoiding full transparency creates an environment of gossip and toxicity to perpetuate.
5 – Blame
Poor leaders that dodge responsibility often explain poor performance by pointing to factors outside themselves. Miss a sales target? It’s the economy. Product didn’t deliver on time? The factory overpromised. Late? Traffic.
The projection of fault is a clear sign that the leader is positioning themselves as an innocent bystander falling victim to factors outside their control. But with this kind of thinking, they are also shouting that they are powerless. And powerlessness highlights the lack of leadership.
6 – Intimidate
Intimidating leaders are strong willed, determined and resilient – but hard to be around. Too often, they’re unapproachable – a key sign they are not management material. Bullying causes employees to feel anxious, depressed, fearful, exhausted, develop illnesses, and can even result in symptoms commonly seen in PTSD.
Workplace bullying creates turnover, particularly among skilled employees who would rather leave rather than put up with continued abuse. The result is an ongoing cycle of abuse.
7 – Steal
Nothing undermines employees’ trust more than having a boss take credit for their work, according to research by Culture Works, a consulting firm. Today, wIth four out of five employees working on multiple teams, the environment is ripe for stealing because we don’t ladder up to one manager, but instead are spread thin, making it easier to lose track of who owns ideas.
So, what can we do about these? How can employees hold their own integrity true, if their management doesn’t support those same ideals?
1 – Remember, hold the line. The only thing you’re in control of is your own integrity. You’re only as good as your word.
2 – Don’t fall victim to losing the respect of your team members. Leaders exhibiting such behavior quickly lose the respect of those they lead – for nothing ruins a leader’s reputation faster than dodging an issue rather than dealing with it.
3 – Rather than sharing your ideas in meetings or private conversations with the boss, create an email trail. Copy colleagues, print out correspondence (you never know when your access will be shut off, especially if your leader knows you’ve caught wind of their impropriety). Make loud tracks. Back up everything.
4 – Ask for continuous feedback. Don’t wait for an annual review. This circumvents surprises and confusing conversations that then also may include the financial bonus complication at year’s end.
5 – Live your own values and integrity. Stay calm, remain focussed and stay patient. Always tell the truth, be real, genuine, open and authentic.
6 – Lead by example: You can be the one to create a respectful, open and effective work environment. Show your leader that appreciation, recognition and reassurance lead to better results. Demonstrate what open and authentic leadership looks like.
If you’re a leader:
1 – Leadership isn’t about blaming others, but realizing any blame levied should rest solely upon you. The best leaders should only point the finger at one person – themselves. It’s been said, “the only thing that happens when you throw dirt is that you lose ground.” Blame doesn’t inspire your team – it creates fear, anger, and more problems to come.
2 – Empower your direct reports. Connect with them regularly. Inclusion, recognition, direction, meaningful feedback all should be centralized in your relationship.
3 – Notice each employees’ unique, specific contributions, and let them know that you notice. Call them out on their achievements – privately and publicly.
4 – Hold them to a higher standard. Ask for their opinions and guidance on resolutions. Mentor them to be a leader of tomorrow.
5 – Effective leaders are generally viewed as honest by employees. They keep everyone abreast of what is going on within the organization — good and bad. If you don’t know the answer, say that and vow to find the answer.
Manifest the right mindset. The best way to deal with an intimidating leader is to keep a good mindset. Don’t take anything they say to heart; remember that what they’re saying and doing is a reflection on them, not you. When you keep that in mind, it becomes a lot easier to manage your attitude and your emotions.
Practice direct and concise communication. Never give anyone who’s trying to intimidate you reason to believe their efforts are working. When you need to communicate with your intimidating leader, plan and rehearse to make sure you’re clear, direct, confident and firm about what you’re saying. Some examples
- I think…..
- I appreciate the feedback, but I don’t agree.
- Let me get back to you on that.
- Here’s what I can do …
- I understand your position; here’s mine.
Don’t react impulsively, says Robert Hellmann, president of a New York career-consulting firm. “Take a step back and ask yourself, is this serving me in any way?” he says. Think about how your manager’s intentions, and your response, will affect your career goals five years down the road.
If Your Boss Steals Your Ideas
• Avoid reacting in anger.
• Talk with trusted friends or mentors about what, if anything, you should do.
• Consider conveying your ideas by email, to create a paper trail.
• Ask yourself if your manager is giving you recognition in other ways.
• Weigh the impact on your ability to meet long-term career goals.
• If you raise the issue, do so in the context of a larger career discussion.
• Ask neutral, non-confrontational questions when discussing it with the boss.
• Model the behavior you’d like to see, giving credit to colleagues with good ideas.
Instead, I’ve advised leaders that when faced with difficult staff questions, there are three perfectly appropriate potential responses:
1. Tell them the truth
2. Tell them you don’t know, but you’ll find out
3. Tell them that you can’t tell them
Shorter-term, effective. Long term they create toxic cultures and these types of behaviors may get duplicated across the organization.
The impact of leadership ignoring their own employees’ job satisfaction outlasts the impact of both constructive and destructive forms of leadership.
If your leader is portraying poor management, it is only a matter of time until they are found out.
